What I learned at school this year.

Another school year is coming to a close. (FINALLY! Thanks to snow days, we had an added extra week and I was fairly convinced that the school year would end precisely when the next school year was beginning.) This was my third year working for the local school district as an Educational Assistant. Here is a list of the things I learned at school this year.

  1. In order to effectively communicate with fellow staff members, one must master the art of drive-by conversations. I’m heading here, you’re heading there, so we have approximately 10 seconds of passing time to outline our plan for the rest of the day. Also, by the way, my coworkers are the very best, as evidenced by the photo below. 14915668_10211282201915234_8405853642645992573_n
  2. Kids are blissfully unaware of winter and painfully aware of summer. Three feet of snow? Heck yes! Let’s slide down this snowplowed slope in our jeans, which will remain wet for the rest of day. But who cares? Its fun and we’re kids. Ninety degrees? We are wilting and incapable of doing anything other than sitting in the shade. I guess this is a Bend thing, because lets face it, its winter here like most of the time.IMG_4683
  3. Kids can get excited about pretty much anything that their teacher is excited about. True, I’m not a certified teacher, so I am using this word loosely. We can take the word ‘bones’ from the lesson map and have a fascinating conversation about how many bones are in the human body. We can randomly select a book about honey bees and discover a whole world about how bees dance to communicate with each other. My little three years worth of experience has lead me to believe that the vast majority of kids are eager to learn when their teacher is excited to learn alongside them.
  4. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell a first grader that “cutted” isn’t really a proper word, they will incessantly use it after their classmate “cutted” them in line. The word “cutted” is best used with the accompaniment of tears, because who likes to be “cutted” in line anyway?!
  5. It is still cool to chase each eachother on the playground. They stole this one straight out of the Dry Hollow Elementary playbook, where I grew up. Wall-ball and jumprope are also both also still very much in fashion. Insider tip: joining in on recess games makes recess duty WAY more fun.

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    Occasionally I get sweet notes from students. This is from one of my favorite students, my ‘dotre’ G. (My 2nd grade daughter, Gracie.)

  6. When there is an opportunity to participate in a staff event, participate. You just might end up getting free ukulele lessons from the insanely talented music teacher and then perform Beatles music for the whole school.
  7. Similarly, when there is a staff party, attend. Because you might be lucky enough to witness your coworkers dancing the night away (and I mean DANCING!) in the midst of onlookers in their mid 20s. Their inquisitive glances indicated that they either thought that the dance moves where on fire, or shocked that those people were up past 11:00pm. Honestly, I was shocked that we were up past 11:00pm. Midnight, to be exact.
  8.  When there is a risk to take, take it. After three years of temporary employment, I took a risk in applying for the Media Manager position when it unexpectedly became available. (Basically this is the library teacher, or librarian.) Did I ever plan on ever trying for a role like this? No. But I had to take the risk, thinking that the outcome might be worth it. And guess what? I got the job! So effective very soon, I shall commandeer an elementary library, where the world of knowledge is unleashed. Can you imagine a job better than fostering curiosity in young minds? Me neither!IMG_4682
  9. Band Aids most likely won’t help with the removal of pain. But to a first grader, they do. So just give them a Band Aid.
  10. Never think that any two school years will be the same. Likewise, never think that any two students will be the same. Truthfully, it is our outlandish privilege to be entrusted with the care of our students every day. We get to watch out for, look after, teach, care for, wonder with, and smile upon the very light of somebody’s life, day after day. And after a year, they so easily become our light too. There is no better place to be, no better gig to get.

So with that. HELLO summer! What do you say we get this party started?!

(As in, what do you say we get into that library and get some paper onto those bulletin boards?! Help, anyone?)

Post Script: My biggest congratulations to my friend and kindergarten teacher extraordinaire Missy! After years of hard work, she completed her masters degree this week. I can assure you that there will be many thoughts from C building heading directly to your E1 next year. We were an awesome team and you are simply the best!

Howkstreet Discotheque

img_4250-1Clyde and Cynthia Howkstreet opened up their nightclub to a VIP guest list featuring world famous disco DJs, musicians, producers, and a variety of other celebrities who would be the first to find out which new disco musician would be awarded an all inclusive label with Flipfar Records. Even the gentlemen arrived in their finest disco dancing attire.dsc_0278Howkstreet guests were treated to a signature cocktail list and the best disco hits on the airways. Howkstreet features two light up floors to encourage dancing and as the beats were jiving and the drinks were flowing, there were soon tapping toes and swinging hips.dsc_0234 Even Clyde and Cynthia stepped away from their rigorous business responsibilities to groove with the music. Cynthia can’t resist Clyde’s Italian leather pants.image-1 The burgers were grilling when all of the sudden, the evening took a shocking turn for the worse. Moments before, as Clyde was taking the garbage out back, he saw a white hot flash and heard a loud pop. Tragically, the owner of Flipfar records was shot dead as he arrived to make his big announcement! Clyde witnessed a person’s silhouette running into the side door of Howkstreet. The murderer was inside among the guests! No one was allowed to leave until the criminal had been apprehended. Guests were asked to help investigate.dsc_0205 Some guests were distraught by the murder and were obvious in their emotions about how terrible it was. These two were quite upset over the death of a friend and comrade of the scene, but lightened up some for the photograph. dsc_0227However, some people were curiously shallow and only concerned with getting the disco music pumping again. What kind of people don’t care if a heinous crime happened just outside the door? Sketchy people. dsc_0260The crime scene took some time to secure, so guests were given the opportunity to carry on with the evening as desired. Howkstreet’s number one focus has always been costumer service, so they did whatever they could to make their guests happy. Coincidently, there happened to be limbo in the guest lounge just waiting to happen. dsc_0244Intermittent with limbo was a spontaneous BeeGee soul train and freestyle dance party. Some guests only pretended to enjoy themselves, when in fact, they were doing their best to gather information about who the criminal could be. Others were just trying to figure out how they ended up at Howkstreet at all, when just that morning, they had planned on a pleasant evening at home. These people are our new best friends because, right?!dsc_0262As the evening wore on, guests were asked to reconvene. Howkstreet staff used the opportunity to snap a quick photo. Clyde and Cynthia knew that talking about murder was unpleasant for some, so they offered ice cream cones to smooth the uncomfortableness that some guests were experiencing. Everyone was soon ready to say who they thought the murderer was and why he or she committed the crime. dsc_0273There were many speculations and alibis but in the end, the electric chair will be warmed up for only one murderer. Turns out that the aspiring disco musician who was in love with his own name (and it was such a great name!) killed the owner of Flipfar in exchange for a label from another company. He may seem groovy, but he’s a killer! To prison with him!dsc_0224Guests were allowed to return to their homes, with memories of disco and disaster. As for Howkstreet Discotheque, they will keep their doors open and their beats jiving. Clearly they are the best at what they do and everyone loves partying with them. dsc_0257A big thank you to everyone who attended. It is an honor to have you gather costuming and arrange child care to come hang out with us and my murder mystery writing shenanigans. You disco dancers add such flavor to our lives and we appreciate you making these parties into something that we treasure. You’re the best! Catch you on the flip side.dsc_0228PS. If you want to make a party writer happy, send an RSVP like this in the mail. It will make her day and you’ll be invited to her parties forevermore.  dsc_0191

 

 

 

 

 

As Long As We Both Shall Live

 For our fifteenth anniversary:

I, Tracy12-16-10-36

take you Bradley,6-27-14

for my lawfully wedded husband.dsc_0192

To havedsc_0199

and to hold6-18-32

from this day forward.dsc_0190

For better,10-28 Howk (121)

and for worse.8-30-5

For richer,12-12-10-4

and for poorer.2-26-27

In sickness1-15-6

and in health.img_1240

To loveimg_3658

and to cherish.8-30-3

As long as we both shall live.6-7-38

My Bradley,

Its been fifteen years now, in your arms. You are my swooning, my life worth living. Your smile is my smile and your tears have been shared in my eyes. From our togetherness comes strength of mind and of character. Your love is my fortune. Our laughter is apparent and my adoration is evident. We love only from a love first given, a love above all else. You are here, so am I, isn’t it a beautiful life?

Yours forever, Babe

PS. I loved that bleached blonde fresh-from-Australia hair back when we were 20. But damn mister, I really must say, the older you get, the finer you become. We’ve had a lot of better and some devastating worse, a lot of wonderful health and our fair share of sick. I chose to keep the rawest photos to ourselves, because we know what they looked like and how we loved each other through them. Happy anniversary hot stuff; its been a pleasure getting to know you.

One more, just for fun…(and because it has the best pet that ever lived.)dsc_0197

Lessons of Becoming Clara

Sometimes I write because I have something to say. Today I write because I have something to remember.

Dearest Daughter,

This year you were given the chance of a lifetime. The sometimes intimidating, thickly-accented, former professional ballet dancer turned instructor and owner told you that you had been selected to perform as Clara in the 2016 The Nutcracker. You cried; for the first time ever in your life, you cried tears of happiness. You will never forget that perfect moment.

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Chandler Photography

Over the following several months you embarked on the journey of becoming Clara. You learned quite a few life-lessons along the way.

1. Be Humble. This is the one and only year that you had a shot at getting this role, and the same goes for all of the other lovely girls in your class. You left the studio that day on a high, whereas many of them left with great disappointment. You empathized with them, because you could relate to how hard it would have been had you not been chosen. You remained humble. Excited (and overly chatty in the dressing room at times), but humble. The girls in your class were incredible in their roles and in their support of you and you must be thankful for their kindnesses.

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Chandler Photography

2. Dedication and Confidence. After we made a few phone calls to grandparents and beloved cousins, you got straight to practicing. You never stopped until the big weekend arrived. You were diligent in rehearsing. You also found your footing in confidence. You stood tall and even when you weren’t quite sure of the next step or pantomime, you behaved in confidence and ability. Because you are confident and able, in ballet and in life.

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Chandler Photography

3. Dealing with Nerves. You came down with a serious case of the nerves the day before the first full cast rehearsal. You were feeling physically sick and your normally cheerful attitude converted into silence. We handled it though, didn’t we? We talked about deep breathing. We looked out the window and enjoyed the sights, sounds, and smells of the world that was carrying on all around you. Your nerves got the better of you that day, but the next day you arrived at the studio ready to go and after that, you never let nerves grab a hold of you again. Those same nerves will appear each time you go for something new. I think you learned some purposeful ways of rising above and it will go with you.

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Chandler Photography

4. Enjoying the Journey. You were living on a constant high and I knew that it would hurt when you landed on the ground again. So I told you this spur of the moment fable that my mommy-mind created for you: There was a little boy who had the privilege to ride the train to Disneyland. He was so anxious to get to the Happiest Place on Earth that he didn’t think to enjoy the train ride there. He didn’t take time to look around him and to see the passing scenery. Yes, of course Disneyland was the destination, but his time there would be over in a flash and all that would remain was the memory. Instead, he should enjoy the whole journey, all of the stops and moments along the way. You understood my meaning and I knew that you had grasped it when one day after school you told me that you found yourself enjoying the trees on the playground and totally free from thoughts regarding Clara. To be truthful, I still have to intentionally stop to enjoy the scenery in life too.

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Chandler Photography

5. Even the Boys will Come. People came from all over the place to see you perform, when that wonderful weekend arrived. Your grandma came for a whole week. Your beloved cousins, aunts and uncles all made their arrival in town. You had numerous girlfriends from school and other places come to see the show. But here’s the kicker: even the boys came. We have so many friends that have two or three sons, no daughters, and even they came to see you. This is a rarity, and their parents had to feign their appearance as adding ‘culture’ into the young men’s lives. You were grateful, as many people missed important performances and practices of their own to see a ballet. Rumor has it that they even liked it.

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Chandler Photography

6. Staying Humble. The weekend brought you lots of love and support and flowers and gifts and attention and interviews and hugs and sweets and special treatments. I was concerned, unfoundedly so, that this would create an ego within you. But you stayed humble and cheerful and supportive of everyone in the show, from those with the smallest parts to those with the biggest. I am proud of your ability to stay sweet in the face of such splendor. Please promise me that you will remain this way. Humility is a key to a happy life.

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Chandler Photography

7. Finishing Strong. There came a time in the tiny bathroom at the last performance when I told you that it would be your last time putting on Clara’s beautiful dress. You acknowledged this fact and carried on as if it was only the beginning. Perhaps it is only the beginning for you. Your love of ballet expanded somehow from wide to wider and your aspirations of pointe shoes and platter tutus only grew bigger. In your journey of becoming Clara, you became more you too. You grew up some. You handled pressure like a pro. You crossed paths at silly and sweet and mature and graceful.

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Chandler Photography

8. In the Midst of this Dream Coming True, Another Dream Sparked. The night after the last performance, after thousands of people witnessed the wonder of the incredible talents withheld at Central Oregon School of Ballet, you released. You cried, as you do each time a ballet performance comes to an end. You  were sad, but it wasn’t all about Clara. It was about performing. You knew that it would be a while before your next time on stage. It was about the other dancers, and knowing that the wonderful friends who aren’t in your class, would suddenly be absent from your life for a while. I understand this letdown, and I held you through the tears. But you know what? This says to me that you were made for the stage in ballet. You will go as far as your determined little self will take you. You must shoot for the stars. Who knows? Maybe one day you will get to appear in that magical Sugar Plum Fairy’s purple tutu that you love so much.

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Chandler Photography

I’m proud of you.

Mom

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The Election: From Their Eyes

So here’s the thing: I refuse to write anything political on social media because 1. You don’t care about my political views (and similarly, I’m not particularly concerned about yours) and 2. My vote counts equally as much regardless of my Facebook feed.

But…what about the kids? This post is only and completely about the kids.

Perfectly timed this week was a reading curriculum for my third grade group that talked about the government. It had vocabulary words like Election, Convince, Announced, Candidates, and Independence. We conversed about these words and I was surprised by the wide variation of their previous knowledge about the US government. It was evident that some kids were almost oblivious to the election season and others were retaining the (sometimes strong) views of their families.fullsizerender

I left that conversation feeling both energized by the time that I had been given to talk to these wonderful little folks about our awesome system of government and also somewhat saddened by their perceptions of it. OF US. (By ‘us’, I am referring to the adults of this country as a whole. I acknowledge that many of us have handled this election differently, but for the sake of simplicity here, I am lumping us into one big observable group as seen by young eyes.)

A few trademark moments.

“I don’t trust either candidate so I wouldn’t vote at all.”

“Trump! All the way.”

“We could have the first ever girl president!”

“I have family in Mexico and I’m worried that Trump will build a big wall between us and them. I still want to see my family.”

“I’d vote for my mom.”

“If Clinton wins, we can’t have guns and then we can’t protect ourselves.”

“I wish Michelle Obama was a candidate.”

“Why can’t Barack Obama just keep being president?”

I was glad to see them genuinely interested and engaged in the conversation. I restrained myself from offering my own opinions, of which I gave none, and also some concerned facial expressions by how heated they became with each other over this. They looked JUST LIKE US.

We spent some extra time on the word ‘convince’. Not only is this a handy word to focus on in reading group because the ‘c’ makes both of its sounds in one word, but also the meaning of the word ‘convince’. I told them that as their reading group teacher I might try to convince them to read and enjoy a lot of books. Their dentist hopes to convince them to floss their teeth. We brought it back around the the topic of government and specifically, what a candidate could do to ‘convince’ someone to vote for them.

Here was the group consensus: 

“To get someone to vote for you, you must say a lot of really bad things about the other person.”

Am I the only one who is embarrassed by this? It seems to me that we have fallen significantly short of showing the very respect to one another that we expect these young people to demonstrate.

So I was thinking perhaps we could add some words to our own vocabulary list. Kindness. Integrity. Goodwill. Compassion. Opinion. Character. Honor. Listen. Sincerity. Example.

In the end, we steered away from the US government, the one in which we are brilliantly honored to be a part of, to the classroom. We decided to hold our own election for which class pet they might theoretically enjoy. The candidates were Cat and Turtle. We convinced each other why our chosen candidate would be the best class pet. We cast a ballot and then announced the winner. Let’s just say this: if the government was seeking a turtle for president, it would be a landslide. fullsizerender-1

They are watching and they are absorbing. I’m afraid of what a debacle we’ve already made of this big political mess and I’m concerned about the poor example we have demonstrated for our youngest generation. So here’s what I’d like to convince you do try:

How about we pull it together these next few days? How about we show them the tremendous honor of voting and our ability to have both opinions and kindness. I think we can do it and more importantly, I think we owe it to our cherished youth.

Red, White, and Spooked

10-22-45

 

dsc_0001Its that season again. Election Season.
What better way to celebrate than to have a Halloween Party? I decided to use the Big Election as a launching point for my 5th annual invitation, but the party itself was not politically themed because I wanted people to show up.

Show up they did! In their costumed best. I adore our friends for donning costumes and smiles to our party every year. I know that some of them would rather sip their gin and tonic in the comfort of sweats on their own couch, but they come and socialize and fain interest for the sake of the party.10-22-17

Speaking of gin and tonic, it seems to be my belief that cocktails add to the atmosphere and also to the ease of the guests wearing scratchy materials. I also feel that easy does it and so I employ my bar tendering husband to serve up simple and classic combinations. We also had hard cider and plain sodas for those seeking something mild.

The food! (But first a disclosure on the photo featured here: I took this picture before all of the food was displayed and then I decided not to take another picture when it was complete because I was enjoying the party instead.) 10-22-13I’ve discovered that Halloween themed hotdog mummies and Jack-O’-Lantern mandarins are just too fussy for my style. I used to spend days making clever Pinterest food but now, nope. Instead I stick with what works and what people will eat. Still using my go-to recipe source, I decided on these turkey and cheese sliders because they can be made ahead of time, candy corn puppy chow , which is always snatched up in a hurry (and I secretly save a bowl of it for our family for the next day), and this last minute caramel apple cream cheese spread, OMG I’m so glad I did! I also put out Hood River made Juanita’s tortilla chips, a big veggie platter, and some olives, pickles and pepperoncinis.

dsc_0002The kids. Oh boy! Er, boys! Lots and lots of boys. Somehow, back in the mid 2000s, while my husband and I produced a replacement for each of us in the form of a boy and a girl, all of our friends produced two boys (God love ’em, I know we do!) This equates craziness and a high potential for broken limbs. Admittedly, last year the kids got a bit out of hand and the disaster remaining after the party tainted the memory of it somewhat for me. I LOVE hosting but I also insist on harmony in my home and family. So my husband and I agreed that the situation surrounding the kids had to be addressed in advance and we added a blurb about it in the invitation. This caused some raised eyebrows and persuasion of attendance again this year, but it was so worth it! The kids were phenomenal and had a better time this year too because everybody was under control and enjoying themselves peacefully.

10-22-25We let the election season carry on in the form on a vote for the game that we played. It was a landslide for Minute to Win it and so the others conceded their candidacies and offered a peaceful transfer of power. Some may say that this was rigged, but I have the votes to prove it if you want to see them.

If you’re ever in the need for a fun and easy way to entertain, look up Minute to Win It games  and you’ll find endless options. Basically, players are given a single minute to complete a practically impossible task and in return it offers lots of laughs and lasting material to embarrass your friends for years to come. A brief sampling…10-22-59

Bite Me

 

 

 

 

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Go the Distance

 

 

 

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Spoon Frog

In the end the party was a resounding success (if I do say so myself) and all patrons left at the end of the night with smiles on their faces. Thus fulfilling my promise that it will be better than anything that happens on Election Day.

Happy Halloween!

Raising a Girl in the World of Mainstream

8.1 (20)Oh summer! Hasn’t it been lovely? I work at school and I get summer off (which is AWESOME!) so I rarely dress up and I really rarely fancify my hair or wear makeup in the summer months. Yesterday though, after months of glorious mascara-freedom, I had to (read: chose to) wear makeup for some professional photos. My seven year old daughter asked me “why do you have black stuff on your eyelashes?” That’s a great question isn’t it? You try answering that to a little girl who you’ve told over and over again that beauty is on the inside and that the way she looks on the outside is perfectly her and beautifully created.

It got me thinking. There are so many very strange things that we do to ourselves in this world that are considered mainstream. 6.14 (2)We have seen and done them for so long that they just seem normal now, but to young eyes they seem off kilter, because in reality, they really are off-kilter. For instance:

Nail polish. Its totally normal and acceptable to paint our fingernails with colored paint and it is considered pretty. Because, why exactly?

High heels. We walk on a little pogo stick underneath our heel and its considered fancy and sexy. Clearly our feet are not angled at a 45 and they are not meant to put our entire weight onto the ball of our foot. high heelsDid you know that they make high heels for little girls now? I’m not talking about dress up stuff, but like, real high heels for small youth sizes. I’ve explained to my daughter, who sees these on her first grade classmates, that she can’t have them because they aren’t good for her developing feet bones. “Well then why do you wear them?” Uh, (in a sheepish and unconvinced tone) because my feet bones are done developing. Really though, we all know that they aren’t good for us.

makeupMakeup. I already kind of covered this, but I was wondering, have you watched Survivor? They are makeupless and razorless for 40 days and the viewers get used to seeing them in their natural state. But then the finale. They arrive all dolled and hairsprayed up and you can’t even recognize them. Why is this mainstream? Why aren’t natural eyelashes ok? Why are freckles hidden? I just don’t get this. I go along with it, but I don’t get it.

Carl’s Jr Commercials.  I know that bacon cheeseburgers are best enjoyed near scantily clad women riding mechanical bulls, but kids don’t. Ok, I don’t either. In fact, this one really irks me. Wecheeseburger mostly restrict TV to PBS kids (yay for commercial free!) but the NFL and the Olympics are not commercial free. So we ask the kids to turn off the TV during commercials so that they’re innocent minds aren’t disturbed with nearly naked women. I HATE this! I don’t want my girl thinking that ladies behave that way and I don’t want my boy thinking that ladies should behave that way.

People MagazinePeople Magazine. Men in clothes that cover everything other than their heads and necks, next to a women wearing breast bearing tanks and booty showing shorts. This is a serious double standard! I don’t want to see the men wear anything less, I’d like to see self respecting women wear normal attire and be respected just the same. Have you noticed that little girl shorts are high to mid thigh and little boy shorts are knee length? WTH?

I better stop before my blood pressure raises any more than it already has. From what I’ve already written here, you probably think that we watch an exorbitant amount of TV, which we don’t at all, but it is where most of these instances are seen. That, and grocery store isles. And billboards. And smartphone app ads. My point here: it is everywhere. It is mainstream and that’s the whole point.

I can not hide my kids from the world. More importantly, I will not try to hide my kids from the world. swansThey are going to fly my coop and see all of this stuff eventually. I believe that my job as a mom is to be there when they see the dangers of the world little by little so that when they leave they aren’t shocked by the world that they live in. I will not even come close to exposing the whole world to their young minds, and I hope that some of these things they never discover for themselves, but they can’t avoid all of society and so I’m here to explain and love them through the life lessons of youth.

Back to the point. My girl will probably grow up to wear makeup and shave her armpits and wear high heels because that is what the majority of what us women do. I don’t think that this is all that bad. I participate too and I don’t plan on trying to reform any of this, it doesn’t matter that much to me. In all honestly, the older I get, the more zoombiish I look without lip color. This stuff isn’t really the problem.

I want to teach my girl how to be a lady when she is surrounded by brackish and narrowly dressed women. I want her to know that she is beautiful because she just is, not because of cleavage and pogo sticks. 7.19 (12)I want her to value people regardless of their looks and style choices. That somebody who has greasy hair is as valuable as somebody who has designer shoes, and that that person is as valuable as a woman who is bold enough to accept her natural self and be free from all cosmetic enhancements. It is my goal for her leave my home with a balanced sense of self, to know that regardless of her choices in the world of mainstream, that she is worth more than all that the mainstream has to offer AND so are all of the other women around her.

10-28 Howk (104)I know that these lessons will mostly come from my example as a woman in this world. I can’t save her from what her peers say about the world. I can’t influence her every thought and protect her from every image. What I can do is to chose self respect and positive self speak. I chose stylish modesty and can demonstrate that these two things can actually go quite well together. I can display polite behavior and ladylike mannerisms; showing that femininity can intersect at dirt and sports and tea parties. She probably won’t slide through life unscathed and unscarred but I will do my best to raise up her strengths and boundaries, her self worth and her value for others. This all seems nearly impossible, but I’m up for the challenge. She is so, SO worth it!

 

 

A Widening Chasm

Its happening; a chasm. A timeline to explain:

2006: our son is born

2007: our son changes from baby to toddler

2008: our daughter is born

2009: we have a toddler and a baby and they are different because of this age variation

2010-2015: our son and daughter become ‘kids’ and are very much similar in their needs and abilities

2016: a chasm cracked and things are changing

He is changing at a rate faster than she is. She is still completely in the land of ‘kid’ and he is taking a step out of ‘kid’ into somewhere new and unfamiliar to our family.

He doesn’t need a car seat. She does. She wants to watch PBS kids. He wants to watch the Olympics (and I can’t blame him for that. I do too!)

He can’t wait until the day that he can stay home alone, whereas she loves being by my side everywhere I go. She mostly obliges to our household chores and expectations. He challenges.

She plays with toys. His toys are collecting dust and spider webs.

She thinks that I am her favorite person and awesome in practically every way. (But really, who doesn’t? 😉 ) I’m fairly certain that he realizes that mom is kind of lame in some ways. (Although he hasn’t admitted this out loud, I’ll admit it for him.)

And yet…

They both reach out for my hand when we are walking together. They both love my hugs and affection. They want me to sing to them when I tuck them in and they want me to lay next to them and read my book while they fall asleep. They both wake up each morning with a chipper “good morning mom!”

They play together like kids too. In imaginary places hidden in our backyard.

They self admittedly want my guidance in social interactions with new adults and elderly people. Sometimes these things make them feel somewhat nervous and I’m their guide on how to look at people in the eyes and speak loudly enough to old ears to hear them.

We’ve all lived in the land of ‘kids’ for several years now where everything is pretty much the same. Same expectations, same bedtimes, same capabilities. Now he is starting to launch ahead and I can see it happening at its very beginning. I’m watching the very creation of a new era. He is still a kid, but he is being pulled and stretched into a new place.

This is where I am supposed to wrap this blog post into some kind of shiny package that sums up my thoughts with a bow on top. I am unprepared to do this. I’ve been roosting on this shift and trying to think of a good message to take away from it, but I don’t have one. What I have is only this:

Parenting is hard. He’s buckling in for the ride of a lifetime and I’m cinching my belt in the seat right next to him. He might not like it all of the time, and he might desperately need it sometimes, but I’m taking this journey with him because I am his mom. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve learned a lot in the land of ‘kids’ and I know practically nothing about what will come next. I’ll learn. I’ll be challenged. I’ll see him through. A time (many years from now) will come to let go, it seems like I cut more apron strings all of the time, but for now, its you and me buddy. We’ll give it our best go. And also: I love you.

 

 

Reasons My Blog Sits Vacant

Hi Guys,

Don’t you just love summer?! Its the time of year that I feel most alive; most active and happy.

I don’t however, love having my blog sit empty for months at a time. Every hit I see on my site with nothing new to read, I feel two things: Appreciative (thanks SO much for reading!) and Guilty. So I thought I should give up some answers for the crickets.

Here’s the thing. I love writing. It fills a piece of me that nothing else can. Blogging gives me an outlet for this longing and I love blogging for this reason. But also: I love living. More than writing. And so sometimes I chose to just go out there and live, which means simultaneously forsaking the blog. By living I mean…

  • Camping. With friends, parents, ourselves. Whoever and wherever. Just living in the wilderness far, far away from my laptop.
  • Traveling. Most recently to British Columbia and Shasta Lake. Who has time to blog when there are conversations to be had?
  • Reading! So far this summer I’ve engaged myself in the Catcher in the Rye, Girl with the Pearl Earring, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. All new to me and all now highly recommended by me. I gave up on Virginia Wolfe’s A Room of One’s Own. I just couldn’t choke it down.
  • Writing. Yes, I know these are reasons why I’m not blogging, but writing is a whole different thing. I am writing, just not blog posts. What I am writing will be revealed to our awesome friends sometime in February in the form of an invitation with the words ‘Murder Mystery’!

There’s one more important thing for me to add here. Blogging is not my career and it is not my upmost hobby either. Good bloggers write frequently to keep their readers engaged. By several accounts I am far from a good blogger. And yet, I find something really freeing about only writing when I have something valuable enough to write about. I don’t throw random shallow-water posts into the internet wind just to fill word quotas. (I’m not naming names, Yahoo News.) I don’t have to do this because I am not controlled by any bosses or sponsors. So I save my space for things that mean something to me. Sometimes I have to save up a few thoughts and let them develop before I project them out there into the big wide unknown.

So thanks guys. Thanks for being patient when you click on drippingorange only to find the same post from a month ago. If you can, just look through your screen and imagine me out there doing whatever I love and know that my happy place is often away from my own screen. I’ll get you something new to read. At some point. In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me in living. What do you say we go camping?! Or gardening? I’ve got some pests on my chard that I don’t know what to about.

Loving summer,

Tracy

 

179 Day Contract

In a few short days I will reenter retirement. After another year as an Educational Assistant at a local elementary school, I now get the biggest reward: summer break! I’ll enjoy these easy-breezy days, knowing that come September, I’ll have to reapply for this job that I love. I have a 179 day contract. I took a brief moment to journal each evening. Here’s a quick (cough!) recap.

T-Minus 14. Job interview. Nervous.

T-Minus 5. FINALLY heard that I got the job. Yay!

T-Minus 4. New shoes. Just part of the job.

T-Minus 2. I wish for perpetual summer.

Day 1. Rescued praying mantis from the loving grip of a first grader.

Day 12. Sweet A is convinced that my name is Mrs. Hikes. Day 25. Still, Mrs. Hikes.

FullSizeRender2Day 14. Slide on the bum, not the tum. Its the rule.

Day 17. Reading groups start today. I LOVE teaching!

Day 23. Took both 2nd and 3rd grade reading groups outside. 83 degrees.

Day 28. No less than 3 kids puked.

Day 32. Newly installed whiteboard in my happy hallway teaching corner.

Day 34. 2016 Oregon Teacher of the Year at our school! Well deserved, love her!

Day 36. Halloween Parties. I wore cat ears because most of the kids wouldn’t know who Wilma Flintstone is.

Day 38. Venus Fly Trap video in reading group. Girls: “Gross!” Boys “Cool!”

Day 44. LICE OUTBREAK! Day 52. LICE OUTBREAK CONTINUES!

Day 55. The Gingerbread Man arrived in kindergarten.

Day 58. The Great Glitter Fiasco of 2015.

Day 61. The roof is leaking in several places.

IMG_2747Day 63. I asked 6 teachers for white paint. There is a white paint shortage.

Day 64. Snow Day!

Day 65. Christmas Break. Two glorious weeks.

Day 66. (Two glorious weeks later.) Back in the saddle again.

Day 70. Friday! I went skiing the second I left the school.

Day 71. The kinder teacher that I work with is truly the best.

Day 76. Three of my 3rd graders graduated out of my reading group. Miss those sweet faces, but also so proud and happy for them.

Day 79. ‘Hoping’ and ‘hopping’ are difficult for kids and adults alike.

IMG_2774Day 80. Library tours for both new groups. Our librarian is awesome.

Day 85. “Why does the American flag have 13 stripes?”

Day 89. 65 degrees in February! Recess just became awesome again.

Day 91. Our school was stormed. Summit High School Call to Kindness.

Day 92. Abe Lincoln Chatterpix. Day 97. George Washington Chatterpix.

FullSizeRenderDay 94. Third grade field trip dogsledding adventure.

Day 100. When I am 100 I will…

Day 101. Dr. Seuss door décor. Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

Day 102. Jump rope helicopter.

Day 108. Oh, second grade.

Day 109. Given new opportunity. Day 111. First day in PAWS.IMG_2631

Day 113. Fire drill scared the bejesus out of me.

Day 114. Oregon governor, Kate Brown, at our school today for technology tour.

Day 115. Spring Break; coming right up.

Day 116. Spring Break; over in a flash.

Day 117. Its Tuesday and I’m just really tired.

Day 122. Played chess in PAWS. I enjoy the kids in there.

Day 127. I heard 49 days left.

IMG_2884Day 131. It was a good Monday.

Day 133. Staff vs Students basketball game.

Day 134. I brought my typewriter to kinder today.

Day 136. I pulled a muscle drop kicking a soccer ball. I have NEVER pulled a muscle before.

Day 137. My least favorite title: Duty Teacher.

Day 140 – Day 144. Staff appreciation week. Love this week as a PTO and a staff.

Day 145. Principal asked me to teach a Friendship Group. Day 148. First Friendship Group.

Day 159. Synchronized swimming in talent show.

Day 161. Little L has been playing the recorder on the playground. Music to my ears…(??)

Day 162. After work special ed. party.FullSizeRender

Day 163. And with that…only two weeks left.

Day 168. Juniper Film Festival! The atmosphere is abuzz.

Presumptive last week: Recycling bins all full.

Presumptive LAST DAY: In the words of (the great?) Alice Cooper…SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER!!

I never hesitate coming to work because my days are filled with little learning brains and pleasant coworkers, many of whom harbor an amazing sense of humor. We really just have an incredible school.

And now…onto those retirement plans. Namely, camping and a serious lack of mascara.

Dedicated to Missy in Kindergarten. Your friendship has been my year’s biggest reward. Here’s hoping to do it all again next year!